I attempted a bizarre experiment. I uploaded my book to Chat-GPT and then prompted it to read every page. It took about 3 seconds! I then prompted artificial intelligence to ask me a bunch of interview questions related to what it read in the book. Here is Chat-GPT interviewing me about “The Art of Being Bullied:”
Chat-GPT: What inspired you to write “The Art of Being Bullied?”
Ray: I wanted to write a book about my bullying experiences for decades. I’ve had quite a few intense experiences being bullied by students, educators – even my father. But the majority of experiences I had were being called names. Writing about being called “gay Ray” countless thousands of times doesn’t make for interesting reading. So, I kept putting off writing about my experiences. Early in 2024, completely by accident, I discovered artificial intelligence. These platforms produce incredible pieces of art simply from the prompts you issue. I became addicted to creating works of art. Somewhere along the way, I began creating images of key moments in my life where I had been traumatized. That was the game-changer for me. When the perfect image would appear, it took my breath away.
As an example, the image titled “Purple Predators.” I prompted the generator to create an image of a red-headed boy (me) taking a drink from a pond. The boy was unaware that an alligator was stalking him, ready to attack at any moment. As I re-prompted and re-prompted, I turned the alligator purple – purple being my high school color – and the alligator therefore represented the danger I faced by purple predators as I entered my freshman year. I collected more and more “perfect” images of metaphors from my bullied days and realized I had begun to perceive that lingering trauma much differently. My perceptions dramatically changed or “reframed” that pain, and it began to evaporate. Seeing my predators as alligators in this instance – and recognizing that I had survived their attacks gave me a new-found mental freedom I never experienced through therapy or psychotropic drugs. I was inspired to write this book to share my journey from being a victim of bullying to finding healing and forgiveness. My own experiences and the discovery of a unique approach to mental healing through artificial intelligence motivated me to help others who might be struggling with similar traumas.
I realize no author should say this, but you don’t have to buy the book to experience the healing. The book itself won’t heal you. The book follows my quest to find that healing and the things I’ve learned over these many decades to put that healing into motion.
Can you describe your experience with bullying during your school years?
I faced severe bullying from grade school ‘til the day I received my high school diploma – from being taunted with derogatory names to experiencing physical assaults and emotional abuse. The bullying wasn’t limited to peers; authority figures and even my own father contributed to the trauma. My emotions were “numbed” by this decade of abuse and in the book, I liken it to a car being crushed into a little square box at a junkyard. My emotions were crushed down into a square box to protect myself – and it took me decades to release them.
How did these experiences impact you long-term?
The trauma from those years lingered for decades. I struggled with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and found that the emotional pain and memories from that period continued to affect me long after the bullying stopped. People just assume once the name-calling ends, so does the trauma. But that is so far from the truth. I am now in my early 60’s and just now have discovered a way to release this trauma – so the impact can be life-long.
What do you mean by “right brain rain,” and how did it help you?
It’s based on the metaphor that people are right-brained (creative) or left-brained (logical). In my case, I’m far right-brained. I see things visually, and then have to translate those images into words – and oftentimes things get lost in the translation. So people assume I’m eccentric or my head is “in the clouds” when in fact, it’s just a translation breakdown. I was bullied for the way I think even as a child. And now, I realize that it’s not a liability – it’s a superpower. I coined the phrase “right brain rain” to help people get a visual interpretation of what I see when I’m creating. It’s literally a downpour of creativity and I get soaking wet in the splash. That “right brain rain” helped me discover artificial intelligence which led to my healing. Right brain rain leads to puddles of possibility. But you have to look for them. Sometimes you might accidentally step into a puddle and, bing, “lightbulb.”
How does your book combine memoir, psychological realism, and self-help?
“The Art of Being Bullied” integrates these elements by first sharing my personal story (memoir), then delving into the psychological mechanisms that protected me during bullying (psychological realism), and finally offering practical steps I used to heal and overcome my trauma (self-help). I have always been fascinated by psychology – so much so that I minored in it in college. When writing this book, I wanted to give examples of the various psychological “tics” my brain used to protect me from the trauma. I’ve experienced all of these and show you what trauma was being experienced when each of these came into play:
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- Self Talk
• Emotional Resonance
• Distraction
• Mental Anchors
• Dissociative Amnesia
• Hypervigilance
• Compartmentalizing
• Sublimation
• Internalized Oppression
• Astral Projection
• Involuntary Disclosure
• Imposter Syndrome
• Role Identity
- Self Talk
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What was the role of self-talk and emotional resonance in your healing process?
Self-talk and emotional resonance played crucial roles in my healing – at different times. I spent some time at an abandoned school for girls and I felt the ghosts of many of them around me. So many girls died there. I resonated with the horrors they must have endured at the same time I was experiencing trauma and that resonance gripped me powerfully.
Self-talk was very valuable as a child, when talking out loud to myself allowed me to process the trauma I was experiencing on the school bus and elsewhere.
How did you deal with the Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms that emerged later in life?
The C-PTSD attack in Hollywood scared the shit out of me. I went back into therapy and was put on antidepressants. This was around the same time that I had been fired from my “dream job,” so I suffered severe depression. The meds only numbed my emotions more than all the trauma had, so it took several years to work out the right meds so that I was functioning at 100%.
What is the significance of the artwork in the book?
The artwork is 50% of the book. It’s the key trigger moments from my past trauma that I was able to create to reframe my trauma and see things in a different light. The artwork is, metaphorically, the meds used to help heal me.
Can you explain the concept of psychological realism and how it’s applied in your book?
Psychological realism involves exploring my inner thoughts and feelings in real-time, as they were happening to me. One example is vigilance – how my brain needed to be vigilant and in a fight or flight mode every moment to protect me from whatever comes next.
In the book, it helps readers understand the psychological tactics and coping mechanisms my brain used to protect me from trauma during that horrible decade.
How do you think social media has changed the landscape of bullying for today’s youth?
Social media has intensified bullying by making it easier for bullies to target and harass individuals anonymously and persistently. The digital age has amplified the reach and impact of bullying, creating new challenges for both victims and parents. I realize kids want to do most of their communicating through social media, but I don’t believe that allows parents to raise well-adjusted kids because they end up with few social skills. Walk down the street now and all you see is kids wearing headphones and staring at their smartphones – shutting themselves off from their reality. Their social skills are non-existent and their life is gonna be a helluva lot more difficult not having learned basic communication skills. Social media makes bullies of us all. Stay away from it if you don’t have the skills to properly process what’s coming back to you.
What role did the educational system play in your experiences of bullying?
Remember, this was the ‘70s. The educational system was complicit in my bullying experiences. From unsupportive teachers, vicious, angry, bitter nuns, to undisciplined peers, the system often failed to address or even acknowledge the bullying that was occurring. True, I did not report the bullying, but it was so brazen, so right there in the open, and yet adults still did nothing.
What is your view on the current political climate and its relation to bullying?
I believe we’re witnessing a new age of bullying – especially in politics and with social media. Aggressive and disruptive behavior is often rewarded. This normalization of bullying behavior at high levels can trickle down and influence younger generations, perpetuating a cycle of abuse.
How did you discover the artificial intelligence platform that contributed to your healing?
I came across the AI platform by chance while surfing the internet. It was a complete accident. I wasn’t looking for healing, just exploring things to do with artificial intelligence. Its ability to help reframe and process my experiences was unexpectedly transformative for my healing journey.
What advice would you give to someone currently experiencing bullying?
I go into this at length in the book. Learn how to protect yourself. Hold school administrators accountable when they refuse to act on their so-called “zero tolerance” bully initiatives. Seek support from trusted individuals or professionals and find healthy ways to express and process your emotions. Consider exploring different therapeutic approaches, including innovative tools like the AI platform I used.
Can you share a particularly memorable moment from your healing journey?
My father was one of my worst bullies. He must have suspected early on that I was gay because he treated me like a piece of shit. While writing about this, I re-experienced that Johnny Mathis moment in our backyard (no spoilers here).
And creating images of that long-ago scene actually empowered me to take away the power my father had over me and to release it. I let him go. And I forgave him. I first noticed a significant shift in my emotional state while writing about those moments and bringing them back to life in vivid masterpiece paintings. It felt like a weight had been lifted, and I could see my memories and experiences in a new, less painful light.
(Forgive me, I had to include this awesome song…)
You talk at length in the book about another song that had an impact on your mental health – the Olivia Newton-John song “Don’t Throw It All Away.” How did that come to be?
That song found me. I can’t explain it any better than that. It was written by British musician Gary Benson and first released by The Shadows on their 1975 album Specs Appeal. Olivia has a long history with The Shadows, so this was a natural cover for her as an album cut on Come On Over. During some of my worst bullying episodes, that song would take over my mind and provide a sort of musical shield to protect me from the bullying. It’s weird because the song has nothing to do with bullying or protection or healing. But I seriously believe I’d be one fucked up individual if that song didn’t interrupt my reality and offer protection at the worst traumatic moments. One of the greatest moments in my life was being able to thank Olivia Newton-John in person for the protection her music offered me during my weakest moments. I can’t express to you in words the power this simple song has over me.
What were the biggest challenges you faced while writing this book?
Certainly resurrecting those painful memories and articulating them in a way that would be both helpful and healing for readers was challenging. It required a delicate balance of vulnerability and insight to ensure the book was both honest and constructive. But the result is gratefulness. I can look back at those moments now, via the artwork, and laugh. Those memories no longer hold me in their grip. And that has allowed me to forgive.
How do you hope readers will use the information and techniques presented in your book?
This book is a call to action. Just reading it won’t heal anybody. They’ve got to take the initiatives I did, face your past with courage, and put an end to this trauma bullshit once and for all. There are practical tools for their own healing journey in this book. They’ve got to put them to use. My goal is for the book to provide a sense of hope and practical steps that others can apply to overcome their own traumas.
What message do you want to convey to educators and parents regarding bullying?
Parents especially need to be more proactive in recognizing and addressing bullying. Wouldn’t it be great if every school kid could wear a body camera (like cops do) to record their bullies when they attack? This would provide absolute proof that most kids didn’t do a thing to instigate the bullying. The bullies can be called out with visual proof of their transgressions and receive the appropriate discipline. But I don’t see that happening. Creating a supportive and empathetic environment is crucial for preventing and mitigating the effects of bullying on children and adolescents.
What future projects or goals do you have following the release of this book?
I’m writing “The Art of Being Bullied – for Kids.” There’s so much practical information in the first book that needs to be shared with kids being bullied which will help empower them. I thought about making the first book G-rated, but it would have greatly inhibited my story and I wanted everything revealed. I’m interested in continuing to raise awareness about the impact of bullying and exploring further innovations in mental health support. I also plan to engage in speaking engagements (can you imagine – after the events from my speech class?) and workshops to share my experiences and healing methods with a wider audience.
What do you want readers to remember most about “The Art of Being Bullied”?
I want readers to remember that healing from trauma is possible. They are not alone in their experiences. My book offers hope, practical advice, and a path forward for anyone who has been affected by bullying. It also offers “mystical” advice such as jumping into puddles of possibilities and freeing yourself in the splash! The images of the wild, crazy hair in the book have become an iconic signature for healing. What better way to heal than to create images of healing?
